Today is another one of those days. I push aside all thoughts about what I should do. It’s a lot, or in other words it’s far too much. This is not how I imagined my retirement a few years ago. But as they say – it’s my own fault. Why have I tackled so many things in my life? Quite simply because I am driven by curiosity. It’s not that I would otherwise be bored, on the contrary, I love to be bored and can spend hours or even days doing nothing. OK not quite, because then I think about God and the world.
What do I actually want? I’m sure I’m not the only one in the world asking myself this question. What I find amazing is that we often find it easier to answer this question with another question, namely “What don’t I want?” First of all, I don’t want to ask myself this question, I want to keep it to my first question. So: what do I want?
I want to find an answer to my question every day, write it down and document my progress. Today, 7.12.2022 I start with that.
I want to take a photo with my Sony A7R3 and photoshop that photo really nicely. I’ll post that on Instagram.
If anyone reads my post or listens to my podcast, I want to encourage that person to do it like me. In these times, in times past and in times to come, we degrade ourselves into will-less beings who do many things they don’t want to do because we deny ourselves the power to do them. A mistake, I think, or even an excuse. Driven by the perception that there are more important things to do, we neglect ourselves. The result is clear – human beings are self-centred beings, full of inner discord, unstable emotions, low self-worth and predestined to lead unfulfilled lives. We claim a meaningfulness to our existence, but behave irrationally and senselessly to achieve this goal. I ask myself, and perhaps everyone who has ever said “Yes, I do” should ask themselves, whether they really wanted it. I didn’t really want it until the third time. The beauty of it is that I still want it every day, every minute and every second. Now I’m trying to figure out what else I want in my life.